The fact that you have come this far with bae certifies you as an ambassador of true love. You deserve to breathe in fresh, uncontaminated air for your selflessness, at the very least. If there are red flags in your relationship and you need an excuse to bounce, then by all means blame it on the “Bromodosis” (the complicated medical term for smelly feet). If not, the following cheats will restore the peace of your nose and snatch your significant other from the clutches of embarrassment without getting in the way of their self-esteem.
Look for reasons to buy them new shoes.
The bacteria responsible for bromodosis, thrive when footwear is worn repeatedly. This is where you step in. Whether it is Christmas, Valentine or Mother’s’ day, make sure you control bae’s shoe game. Remember to backup your actions with reiteration of the fact (or not) that you get a shoegasm every time he rocks a new pair. Be sure to accompany your sly gifts with other accessories so they don’t get air of your “Save our Sinus” mission. P.S. Invest in shoes that allow the feet breathe.
In the case that there is no reason or season for a gift, you need to master the art of elimination. Imagine that you have your girls over or your boys are in for a footie match and bae is on his/her way from a really long day at work. The first instinct would be to fling their shoes off their tired legs…right in front of your sewage mouthed friends. Not to worry. Adorn your “Satan, not today” swag and catch the decayed cheese excuse for shoes and /socks, with the swiftness of Casillas. Transfer to a zip lock bag filled with naphthalene or camphor balls and air it out when the coast is clear. You should also signal to your lover to join you in the bathroom for a quick rinse. Keep a collection of deodorant foot powder and shoe sprays handy and for the guys, make sure he has 365 pairs of socks for everyday of the year.
Develop a cleaning habit together.
If you cannot afford to change out footwear and socks frequently, you would need a plan B. Involve him in the process of cleaning and completely drying out shoes and socks daily or weekly; depending on the potency of the ooze.
Pedicure Love Rituals.
Sweat mixed with bacteria is responsible for feet odour. Find a way to incorporate some pedicure romance when you and your partner spend time together. You could buy pedicure equipment for home use and take turns in loving gesture to help each other with the process. A bowl filled with warm water, some salt and a foot scraper will make a DIY option. Have frequent spa dates and tell him that the mani-pedi part of the treatment is your favourite. This way, you save your lungs and strengthen your relationship at the same time. Win Win!
Be an ego masseur.
Many times than not, people actually know if they have smelly feet. As if this is not enough, they get teased by friends and family alike. If this is the case of you and bae, you will need to provide some emotional insurance. Never join the jesters. Find every means to make him or her comfortable even if it means you have to tell a lie about suffering the same fate in your teens.
The Last Straw.
It broke my heart to see that some divorces have been attributed to smelly feet. If all of the above have been tried and there is no improvement, look into your partner’s eyes lovingly, kiss them on the forehead, and say the following in the most understanding tone you can muster. “Honey, we need to see a doctor.”