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5 Ways to Bag a Sugar Daddy

As the self proclaimed leader of the Sugar Baby Association of Nigeria, it’s only right I help those who are aspiring to venture into this noble profession. Being a sugar baby is not an easy task as it requires one key thing: PACKAGING. Please this is not advice for those girls on Tinder who charge 20-50k a night abeg. This is for those who are aiming far higher than those ones. Anyway, here are some tips to ensure that your packaging is right so that you can attract the kind of customers you want.


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INVEST IN YOUR HAIR: Stop going to Jumia to get hair for 50-90k. Leave it for those Tinder girls. Get good quality hair. Remember to get money, you gotta spend money. Go on one of those foreign websites and get hair that goes for $1000 to $1500. When you’re buying this hair, make sure you get one that is too big for your small head, so that you can look like the mgbeke version of Ariel. I nu go? Good girl.


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GET GOOD BLEACHING CREAM: Stop deceiving yourself by saying that you’re toning your skin and not bleaching it. Acceptance is a very important factor in making it in this industry. Tell yourself you’re bleaching and tell anyone who chastises you for it to go suck a… you know what I mean. Back to the crux of the matter, invest in quality bleaching creams biko. Don’t buy over the counter Fair and White cream or Tura soap at Ebeano. Buy those ones that Toke Makinwa and Anna Ebiere advertise. What is the name again? eh hen. Mecran or something. Just type “Toke and Anna advertise bleaching cream” and I’m sure you’ll find something. Stop whining about how expensive it is. Remember the advice from above and give yourself a pat on the back.


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MOVE TO ABUJA: Yes I know. Everything in Abuja is expensive, but remember PACKAGING is really needed in this line of business. Abuja is where all those politicians full ground. So moving there would ensure that you come in contact with them often, depending on where you choose to socialise. I’ll get to that point in a bit.


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HAVE/BUY A FIGURE 8: If you already have a Coke bottle body, lucky you. The rest of you that are built like Sponge Bob or a pencil, I’m sorry but you’re about to spend a lot of money. If you’re already built like Kim Kardashian, work out! you don’t have to eat overly healthy because these old rich men like some meat on your bones. But working out will give your body the right definition you need to sell your market. Now, if you’re one of the unlucky ones, better start looking to book Dr. Miami. I hear the demand for him is so high that sometimes you have to book a year ahead, so step right on it. If your boobs are too small, increase them. If they are too large, reduce it. Finish the job with a diaper booty.


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GO TO EXPENSIVE RESTAURANTS: Socialise well. Make sure you get invites to all the exclusive and elite events all over Nigeria. Have breakfast at Four Points, lunch at La Maison Fahrenheit, and dinner at Oriental. You’re more likely to meet the kind of sugar daddy you want.

P.S: I should have probably mentioned at the beginning, that doing the above mentioned, is going to ensure that you part with a large chunk of your money. Think of it as a capital to start a business. You can either save up, crowdfund, ask for loans, or meet family and friends. Good luck and remember: ALL NA PACKAGING.

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